We started the year living in my father's basement, as things with Zack's mom went completely south. Zack and I were making bad choices, always partying, and not putting enough time and effort into Jadon. We were, honestly, falling apart. Looking back, I'm not sure how we stuck together through this time. I honestly don't think we really chose to; I think it was probably just easier to stay than it was to go.
In mid-January, we got a call letting us know that Zackary's biological grandfather had passed away. This tore Zackary apart because he felt guilty for not spending enough time with him. That same week, a man who was like my brother, Phil, passed away from cardiac arrest. It broke my heart, but his spirt has guided me through all the rest. At his service, I know he was there, and he made something change in Zackary's heart, that in return, changed our lives. The preacher talked about Phil, about the choices he was making before he decided to turn his life over to God. As we left, Zack looked at me and said "I see myself in him. That could be me. I need to change. Let's start going to church."
A few weeks later, we were sitting in a brand new church, and I cried. I looked around at all the smiling faces and I realized that we were exactly where we needed to be. Jadon went to play group, where he was able to interact with other kids, and Zackary and I enjoyed a beautiful service. I'm regretful that we let life get in the way of God, but we have made it our New Year's Resolution to not let that happen again.
We slowly moved back into Zack's mom's house, and we began to change, not only as a couple, but as parents. I think it wasn't until this time, when Jadon was about 20 months old, that our parental instincts truly kicked in. We began taking him places and spending more time bonding with him. We loved him, as a couple, like we had never taken the time to do so before. Zackary and I picked up a new hobby that helped us to grow closer together: geocaching. If you don't know what geocaching is, basically you go wandering around the forest with a compass looking for a Tupperware container filled with a notebook and some toys you get out of the 25 cent machine. Those times we spent lost, laughing, and just enjoying our time together, were the times I know kept our love alive.
In the middle of March, Jadon and I were at home, while Zackary and his mom worked. I was cooking us some baked potatoes for lunch, and the next thing I know, the fire alarm was going off. I peeked into the living room and the couch was already in flames bigger than me. I turned around, grabbed up Jadon, and ran out the back door. As we stood in the front yard and watched the window bust out, I couldn't help but cry. I was so grateful my family was safe. I called Zackary at work and he didn't believe me. When he pulled up and saw all the fire trucks and Jadon and I sitting on the neighbors porch, he started running. We were just so happy for the gift of life. We had everything we needed in the people that surrounded us.
Jadon turned two in June, and we were so grateful to get to celebrate it with all of our family and friends. It was such a blessing to have every one together.
In the beginning of July, I lost a lady who meant the world to me, and it absolutely devastated me. My aunt was more than just an aunt, she was my greatest inspiration. Losing her was one of the hardest things I've ever been through.
Shortly after that, Jadon's birth mother decided she wanted to start being a part of his life again, so we began to split our time with her. This was really tough and still is because she's not the best influence for him. I want to protect my not-so-little baby, but some things are out of my control.
So, this about sums up our year. It, honestly, was full of heart break and a lot of downs. I had my family, though. I had Zackary and Jadon. I also had my parents and my extended family, along with Zackary's family. Without all these people, I don't think I would have made it through this year. It was tough, but my family kept me going. Knowing that they will always be here for me is what keeps me going each and every day.
Here's to a new and BETTER year!
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