I have never said a word to Jadon's mother, and honestly I probably never will. She's not worth wasting even one word on. However, if I was to ever say anything to her, this is what it would be.
Dear mother of my child,
I don't even know where to begin. I have so many emotions towards you, so many things I want to say, but I'm not sure how. I guess I'll begin with...hello.
Hello, I am the lady that's been raising your son. I'm the one who will continue to raise him. I'm the one who will have to hold him, who will have to wipe his tears when he gets a boo boo or the kids at school say something mean. On the other hand, I'm the one who gets to rock him to sleep at night. I will get to walk him in to his first day of pre school, and celebrate his second birthday. I am privileged because I get to raise such an amazing child.
If I'm being honest, whenever I think of you, the blood in my veins boil. I want, so badly, to just walk up to you, and smack you across the face for being so selfish, for being such a terrible mother. I wish you could just care about your child. I wish he could have you in his life, even if you and his father are not together. He deserves his mother. He does not deserve what you are doing to him, at all. I wish you'd call more often, to check up on him. I wish you would stick around when he comes to visit, and not just leave when something "more important" rises. Let's be honest, what could be more important than your own blood? I wish that he was more important to you than the man of the week. I wish he was more important to you than all those drugs you fill your body with. I wish, more than anything, that I won't have to look at him one day and say "I'm sorry she's never around." I wish you'd care about your son.
However, since you don't, I am. I am raising him to the best of my ability. I have to thank you for giving me that opportunity. I am teaching him to dress himself, to use the big boy potty. I am teaching him his body parts and how to say "please" and "thank you." I am showing him what true, unconditional love is. I'd be lying if I said that sometimes I don't want to rip my hair out, that sometimes I question motherhood. I, however, would never, ever, ever give up on that little boy. I will raise him to be a gentleman. I raise him to be intelligent and generous and to be a better parent than you. I will give him all the love that you should. I will hug him and kiss him and tuck him in at night. I will always be there for him.
Please, don't ever worry. As long as I'm around, I can promise you, he will be alright. Maybe one day, you'll decide it's time to be a mother. I hope if you do, you stick with it. He's not even two, and he's had more loss and more heartbreak than any human being should ever have to go through. I am here to protect him. I will fight until it kills me to make sure he's okay, to assure he has what he needs and also what he wants.
I may not have given birth to him, but he is certainly mine. Thank you for being kind enough to carry him for nine long months, to deliver him safely and healthy. I can never pay you back for that. I will never be able to express how much I appreciate that.
I love Jadon with all my heart, and I hope that you can see that. I hope you can see that I'm good for him, and that if you do decide to be a part of his life one day, you don't try to take him from me or turn him against me. He has given me hope, he has changed my whole life around.
My son. Your son. Our son. I will raise him as a mother would.
Love,
The mother of your child
